New year, new me

I know, I know.  A bit of a clichéd headline there.  But I really do feel like I've turned a corner since Christmas.  I'm not sure how that has happened but maybe it's been down to talking to people who understand how I feel.  

Occupational health chat

I've had a medical assessment with an Occupational Health adviser arranged via my employer.  I was quite apprehensive about it but actually I really needn't have worried at all.  

The assessment was carried out by a nurse who really understood what I had gone through and knew about the sorts of things that would help me cope post-treatment, both personally and at work.   She reassured me that the way I had been feeling leading up to Christmas and the fear of the cancer returning was perfectly normal.   We talked about the support I felt I needed to help me get back to work.  It was incredibly helpful to talk to her and to find out about all the practical things that she could recommend.

Counselling

I've also been in touch with Action Cancer and went to see a counsellor. I wasn't entirely convinced that I would find it helpful but I felt I needed to reach out to someone who was trained and who would understand the terrible things that cancer can do to both your body and mind.

I was lucky that there was a free slot to see someone almost straight away.  The counsellor was warm, friendly and encouraging.   She didn't give me advice but allowed me to talk openly and express my concerns. She really helped me think things through in just one session.  I know that I can go back at any time if I need to.

After the treatment finishes...

The counsellor also gave me a really good article called 'After the treatment finishes - then what?' by Dr Peter Harvey.  The article talks, for example, about:

• recuperation
• convalescence
• rehabilitation
• regaining trust in your body
• regaining trust in yourself
• living with uncertainty 
• dealing with the world
• regaining mastery and control

As I read it, I reckoned it could have been written about me (apart from the bit where it refers to a woman after breast cancer treatment who decided she needed to change her husband!).  

One particular extract from the article struck me: it described the end of treatment being the beginning of something else - a rebuilding process that needed to be managed and directed and, in psychological terms, this could be the most challenging and difficult time of all.  This really resonated with me.

Once I'd read the article, I knew that I wasn't losing my mind after all.  It talked to me in a language I understood and was written by someone who really appreciated what I (and others) had been going through and still continue to go through.  I found it incredibly helpful and reassuring. 

Review with the breast care nurse

I also had an holistic review with one of Belfast City Hospital's breast care nurses.  We talked about my feelings, particularly my fear of cancer returning, and how to self-examine.  Again I got some really helpful advice.  

The nurse also reiterated that I'd had all the necessary surgery and treatment to help prevent the cancer returning (there are no guarantees, but she did reassure me somewhat).  However there were three things, she said, that were really important to help tackle recurrence:

• maintaining a healthy weight [oops!]
• exercise [yep, I'm doing lots more of this now]
• reducing alcohol [I can't stand the thought of booze as it makes me feel like I'd be drinking poison and the smell reminds me of alcohol wipes.  Thanks chemo 😒.]

So, whilst I can't control the beast that is cancer I can do my best to keep it at bay.

It's a dog's life

I'm saving the best bit 'til last.  I've now got a dog.  It's an eight month old Jack Russell puppy and she is ADORABLE.  I had been dithering about getting a dog because my son has a slight fear of dogs.  I'd even joined a website to 'borrow' a couple of dogs, which I had taken for a few walks. But as soon as I laid eyes on the puppy, I couldn't resist her.

I've called the puppy 'Cara', which is Irish for friend.  I've been taking her out for daily walks.  She's very affectionate and is a quick learner.  In return, Cara is teaching me patience, calmness and is getting me fit. What a diamond.

Cara, my new friend

Time to heal

So there you go.  One minute I'm down, the next I'm up.   But according to Dr Peter Harvey, now is the time to heal, both body and mind.  

It's a long road ahead but hopefully one I'll be able to navigate through even if things get a little bumpy from time to time.

Much love...until next time.

Karen

Getting out and about

Research says that physical activity has great benefits, both during and after cancer treatment.  The advice I've been given is to try to do about 150 minutes of physical activity a week.  Now, as I've probably only ever done about 150 seconds of physical activity a week before I was diagnosed, I thought I'd better get off my backside.  

Tai Chi

The first thing I did was to join a Tai Chi class sponsored by Macmillan Cancer Support.  It's a graceful and spiritual form of exercise which I've discovered, much to my surprise, requires more control over muscles and a greater degree of co-ordination than I ever expected.  

At my first class, I quickly realised that an elephant on a pogo stick would have had a better chance of getting to grips with Tai Chi that first night than I did.  But I'm sticking at it and I'm in a group of people who make me feel welcome.  It really is a lovely activity and I come away from it with an inner warmth, a calmer mind and a feeling of mutual support.

Move More

I've also met up with a fantastic Macmillan 'Move More' co-ordinator who has worked with me to understand my level of activity both pre- and post-diagnosis.  She has helped me set goals to increase my activity levels.  Even gardening counts as a physical activity.  

I'm now starting to plant vegetable seeds for the first time in my life.  If someone had told me 20 years ago I would be growing my own vegetables, I would have laughed out loud.  And trust me, I have a really loud laugh.

I also now go to a weekly Move More class for people living with cancer and cancer survivors.  It's a little bit like circuit training but is very much geared towards the attendees' needs.  The people who go are really friendly and chatty.  We laugh and joke but we knuckle down to the exercises.  There was one woman there who, whilst we jogged, told me she had incurable cancer but wanted to do something to help tackle her fatigue.  She was a stunning looking woman.  I am rarely lost for words but on that occasion I was.  I just didn't know what to say that didn't sound naff.  Her story touched me deeply.  

'There but for the grace of God...' and all that.

Coffee and Chat

I went to my first Coffee and Chat session organised by Action Cancer at the Macmillan Centre. I met cancer mentors who talked to me about their experiences and who gave me lots of tips, for example moisturising my feet to reduce the risk of ulcers during chemotherapy (I don't know if this is true yet as at time of writing I haven't started chemo).  

Cancer mentors are really positive, inspirational people.  They've been there, done that, got the T-shirt.  They listen to you and give you practical advice but more importantly they give you hope.

Wednesday Walks

Something else I've started to do is to take part in 'Wednesday Walks' organised by Connswater Community Greenway.  I've discovered areas of East Belfast I knew nothing about.  For example, the first walk took us to a place called The Hollow (see pic) made famous in the song 'Brown Eyed Girl' by Belfast's own Van Morrison. 

The Hollow, East Belfast

 The Great One

I met a lovely former Canadian resident on one of the walks.

We talked about ice hockey which is my favourite sport to watch.  She told me that her husband had once taken her many years ago to see the Toronto Maple Leafs (go Leafs!) play at the famed Maple Leaf Gardens.  Wayne Gretzky - the Great One - was playing in the game.  I was about to bow down and say 'I'm not worthy' when she said something that astounded me: she read a book throughout the whole game.

Wayne Gretzky.  WAYNE GRETZKY.  The greatest ice hockey player that ever graced the game.  And she didn't bloody watch him!  

Next time...

Taking control (and no, it's not about Brexit).

PS

Let me know below if there's anything specific about my breast cancer journey you'd like me to blog about.

If you've enjoyed my blog, feel free to follow me on Twitter: @luvvacurry